As Prepared In: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
Ingredients:
Canned Tomatoes
Assorted Vegetables
Loose Drawer Pasta
Directions:
1. Use baby teeth to open tomato can.
2. Sauté tomatoes and assorted vegetables in a saucepan.
3. Cook pasta in a spittoon (wash twice before using).
4. Strain pasta with a dirty window screen.
5. Before serving, mix pasta with sauce.
6. Get berated in front of an acting troupe for not making roast beef.